Unraveling

You tie your shoes too tight, you know
cause it feels better that way.
And when you don't, all night you are dreaming
you walk, laces streaming down the street behind you.

A river of tangled string
you are unraveling
and no one else seems to mind.
You keep it to yourself, stay numb and act fine.
You wear the truth under your sole, like a pebble
it makes you limp and sway
but it will out someday.

Take it from me it is no use
washing your hands so often they are clean and cracked.
You never get your old skin back
once you have loved like that
you're a river of tangled string...

He is inside you, he loved your marrow.
You think you could cut him out with a knife
if you went deep enough
I don't think so.
Maybe sing him back to living
'cause he might rise like a snake in a basket
or he may close his eyes
and wait till his life is a full-fledged casket, floating on
a river of tangled string...

Tell Your Story Walking
(inspired by the novel, "Motherless Brooklyn", ©1999, by Jonathan Lethem)

Tell it to the judge, man.
Tell it to your motherless reflection.
In a sock and one shoe
after the great defection
he said, "tell a lie sometimes, tell the truth
when it suits you, and when you've lost your way
tell a story."

Tell your story, tell it, tell it.
Tell your story to anyone who'll listen.
Tell your story, don't stop talking
just tell your story walking.

Listing through Carol Gardens
on the way to Cobble Hill
I stopped by a psychic's dusty, wilted windowsill.
Forgot what she told me, mostly
but I remember one thing she said
"You may slip and call some lousy fuck your friend
but in the end you'll come out even
then, tell your story."

And it's a sorry, frightful thing
when you want to cry, but you can't keep from laughing.
Outside the church that's so quiet it dares you to shout
you put a hand to your mouth to stop the rain.
You do a St. Vitus dance, to the sky you raise your voice.
This is your chance, you have no choice
you tell your story.

How Will He Find Me

If I don't stand out like a star among the moons
if I am always late and he always backs away too soon
I walk the world with a skin so thin
I can wear no adequate protection
everything comes crashing in.
If I'm too wide open for this place
but not enough for him to recognize my face

How will he find me
with no one's arms to gather me together?
How will he find me?
Only held by gravity, faded with uncertainty
no longer young and not that pretty
how will he ever find me?

It never seems to matter, the tears I cry.
There's a well inside of me that never runs dry
from being born I guess, and born in life until we die.
The music and the hope for love keep me alive
still I wonder, how will he find me?

And what shall I do with a drunken heart
with goggle eyes and the troubling hunger
reaching forward to trick mirror men
leaning out and in again.
If love is a game how can it be creation?
And if I'm wasting my time
how will he find me?

Saturn's Light

Saturn's light throws a ring around the moon
and I said my prayers too soon, no one was listening.
There's a hush on the street
I can hear my own heartbeat, and my lonesome breathing
but my soul's little bird can still sing:

I want good love, I want it so bad.
It's a seed stuck in my throat
it's a weed around my hope†it makes me choke
and I can only breathe outside
or in tall buildings with high ceilings and open doors.
Isn't there someone out there I am here for?

It takes a will just to make it through the night
when to wait and when to fight, I'm swing-and-missing.
When we meet, will his eyes recall me?
I look for his face everywhere in the dark
and I carry my torch of bright stars, 'cause I want good love.

Couples kiss across counters and tables
I smile and then look at the wall.
But some people hold hands and they don't pay attention
like their love is somebody else's invention.
Our heads say hold back, but our hearts run to strangers and say
"look at me, look at me, look at me."

Comfort

When everyone has gone to sleep and you are wide awake
there's no one left to tell your troubles to.
Just an hour ago, you listened to their voices
lilting like a river over underground
and the light from downstairs came up soft like daybreak
dimly as the heartache of a lonely child.

If you can't remember a better time
you can have mine, little one.
In days to come when your heart feels undone
may you always find an open hand
and take comfort wherever you can.

And oh, it's a strange place.
And oh, everyone with a different face
but just like you thought when you stopped here to linger
we're only as separate as your little fingers.

So cry, why not? we all do
then turn to one you love
and smile a smile that lights up all the room.
Follow your dreams in through every out-door
it seems that's what we're here for.

And when you can't remember a better time
you can have mine, little one.
In days to come when your heart feels undone
may you always find an open hand
and take comfort, there is comfort.
Take comfort wherever you can, you can, you can.

Big Strong Girl

It's not now or never.
It's not black, and it's not white.
Anything worth anything takes more than a few days
and a long, long night.

Don't push so hard against the world, no, no.
You can't do it all alone, and if you could
would you really want to?
Even though you're a big strong girl
come on, come on, lay it down.
The best made plans are your open hands.

Rest your head.
You've got two pillows to choose from
in a queen-sized bed.
Hold out for the moon
but don't expect connection any time soon.

Feel the light caress your fingertips.
You have just begun, the word has only left your lips.
Maybe in time, you will find
your arms are wrapped around the sun
you're wrapped around the sun.

Sincerely
(with love and thanks to my Mom and Dad)

He said, "Go 'round the back way".
He said, "Avoid the road more traveled."
He said, "Hold tight to your smile
when it's dark outside, and you so fragile.
You won't see the ground
but it will rise beneath.
You are steady on your feet
until it hits you in the teeth."

You will know it when you've gone too far;
your sight grows dim and narrow.
You cannot see the stars above you.
They love you in their far away way.
They ask you, sincerely, to stay.

She said, "Look up, once in a while."
She said, "Remember things that always remain;
blossoms in the Spring, birds remember to sing
and you will do the same."
Buildings hurtle by the train as you ride.
You don't know where, you don't know why.
All you can do is dry your eyes, cry like a little child.
Sometimes it takes a while to be born.

Two Points

She said "it's a shame about the weather
nothing for the blues when the sky goes gray".
He said, "I don't love you anymore".
Then he kissed her anyway.

"I'm starving here", she sighed.
"Maybe we could try
you get so crazy when you drink".
He said, "see those leaves there
moving like a thousand hands?
I'm beginning to think
we can't take it like this".

And he's gone missing.
Another heart skitters away over broken words.
She is crying in advance
while he is doing his dance
to go and stay at the same time.
She says, "Any two points can make a line
but I know I can never make you mine."

Why's it get so complicated
when two people make love?
"I wish I were a bird" she said.
"So you could fly away?"
"No. So we could be together
with no thoughts of yesterday."

And she's gone missing...

Rocks and Water

Seven times I went down
six times I walked back.
And I don't fear the dark anymore
'cause I'm become all that.

I will be rocks, I will be water.
I will leave this to my daughter:
lift your head up in the wind.
When you feel yourself grow colder
wrap the night around your shoulders
and I will be with you even then
even when I cannot see your face anymore.

Don't forget the time
I wooed him with red wine.
The devil he wore such a fine, fine shirt
and it stayed so clean while he dragged me through the dirt.
Now, honey, don't trust anyone who looks you in the eye
don't take any kindness, it's a demand in disguise.

I have seen such things child
on this, and the other side.
Words cannot show you
the midnight owl it does not know you.
You will see for your sweet self
by and by.

And I will be rocks, I will be water
I will leave this to my daughter.

To the Bone

Can't say goodbye, we never really met.
You just burnt my bed and tore out the stars
and kissed my forehead.

Now I am an ache, that fell into a hole
and you were the sky, you opened wide
soaked to the bone, I'm so cold.

I loved being nearer you
you said you loved being near me too
so why are you determined to run?

Is it still night inside your heart
too soon for the sun?
Or do you feel like a rabbit loving a gun
never know when the shot will come
and leave you cold.

Your smile pierced my skin and traveled out again.
A rogue bullet passing through every vital organ.
I wish you'd let me in, I'm bleeding here outside your door.
Did the snows fall heavy in your house
from bedroom to kitchen
and you can't find me anymore.
You're too cold.

Can't say goodbye, we never really met.

Ashes on Your Eyes

Just about the time your heart breaks like a wheel
not in a straight line, but all in pieces
some you'll leave behind on a road you won't revise
No, you won't revisit that dirty compromise.

Now you only dream in peaceful blue
the morning doesn't even scare you anymore.
You are a phoenix with your feathers still a little wet
Baby, the ashes just look pretty on your eyes.

So look up, up ahead
the city lights are dancing for you.
Or is it the aurora burning off the edges of the sky?Don't cry, don't cry
that's all over now.

Dry your wings in the sun
you have only begun to understand.
When it's time to move on
there is no one to hold your hand.
So let go.

Here the night is fine, the stars are sparks of steel
chiseled in the mines of twilight.
You tell me something real, say
"Don't try, don't try. Just remember how."

A Bird Flies Out

A bird flies out and over the rooftops
down past the cars in my line of view.
It's a strange beginning, comic and awkward grace.
In a picture, on the table
I'm in a red dress waiting for a reason
holding a tightly packed suitcase.

Maybe I'm too jaded to love somebody like you.
Maybe I want to love my dream that'll never come true.
Someone who is real, oh, gets in the way
and moves inside my heart, not just my head
interfering with how I want to feel.
How do I want to feel, I wonder?

You could be water to me, I could be wine.
The stars have all faded here
they give us no sign.
Is this the right time?

The smoke curls up and ribbons the air
away from my nervous fingers.
The cigarette sputters, a tired reluctant burn.
In a picture, on the table
you are a driver peering past the moment
holding the wheel until it turns.

Maybe I'm too jaded to love somebody like you.